


Let Me Remember

by buzzbuzz34



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Marriage Proposal, Memory Loss, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26756659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzbuzz34/pseuds/buzzbuzz34
Summary: During their stay at Mikaele Salesa's safehouse, Martin proposes to Jon with a ring he's been carrying with him for their trek through the apocalypse.  But as they leave the oasis behind and Jon forgets their entire stay, he forgets Martin's proposal as well.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 23
Kudos: 158





	Let Me Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADreamIsASoftPlaceToLand/gifts).



> Spoilers for Episodes 180 and 181!!
> 
> Inspired by this art: _https://misplaced-my-notes.tumblr.com/post/630548243667943424/i-spy-with-my-little-eye-fabric-rustles-please_ and a conversation with @shorter-than-her-tbr-pile on tumblr!!

Martin glanced over his old clothes. Mikaele had provided them clean outfits, food, showers, and comfortable rest, even if he didn’t yet offer up the cost of such amenities. 

For now, Martin didn’t want to think on it. Instead, he rummaged into the pocket of his dirty, bloodstained jeans, and pulled out a velvet box. The ring inside still shimmered despite everything its carrier had been through. 

It seemed like years ago that Martin had bought it from the small shop in the town nearest to the safehouse, nestled in the Highlands. When he came home, beaming, unable to stop smiling, he was sure Jon would figure something was up, even without any Beholding powers, given that the excitement radiating off of Martin was so tangible. 

He didn’t plan much in terms of a proposal, just making one of the few mortal meals that Jon still enjoyed, then sitting on the couch after dinner and asking him if he would marry him. Even though Jon had risked everything for him over and over again, Martin couldn’t help but fear that the answer might not be the one he hoped for. All the same, he wanted Jon to know how much he loved him and that he wanted to spend every minute with him, whether as husbands, boyfriends, partners, or friends. 

But when the world changed, so did Martin’s plans. And when he packed up bags for the moment Jon was ready to leave, to set things right, he glanced at the ring’s hiding place and tucked it into his pocket. 

Once they fixed the world, then he could ask. After the apocalypse was averted, they would have all the time they could ever want, right?

The apocalypse was still going, however, and Martin had no idea what came next. Neither did Jon, bizarrely, and that did nothing to assuage Martin’s fears. 

However, as he held the ring box in his hands and stared at the sparkling metal, Martin realized he knew what he at least _wanted_ to come next. 

“You alright there?” Jon asked as he reentered the room, hair still wet from a recent shower. 

“Um, yes. I am. I…” Martin took a deep breath, then closed the box and held it out of view as he spun to face Jon. “This probably isn’t the best time, but… it’s not like time has really existed while we were outside of here, so…”

“Martin?” Jon stepped toward him, worry creasing his features. 

“Jon, I… will you marry me?” 

Martin was so mesmerized by the frozen surprise on Jon’s face that he almost forgot to get down on one knee and take out the ring. After he did so, the shock in Jon’s expression didn’t change, but instead his eyes glanced between Martin and the ring in equal measure. 

“I know it’s not like marriage really means so much anymore, with the world ending and what not. But… I love you, Jon. I’ve waited ages to ask you, and I don’t know if there’s going to be a better chance than this, so…”

Jon stumbled over his words a few times, then wiped away a tear, and settled on a simple answer: “Yes. Yes, of course.”

They were both smiling now, grinning from ear to ear, and crying gleeful tears that washed away the sorrow that so often adorned their eyes. Martin stood again, then took Jon’s hand into his own and slid the ring onto his finger, before raising his knuckles to his lips and kissing them slowly. 

After falling into an embrace for an unknowable amount of time, shuddering with tears for an occasion they never thought they'd be lucky enough to experience, safe in the arms of their lover, Jon pulled away just a bit to look at the silver band.

He chuckled. “Where did you find this?”

“I didn’t just find it on some Buried bloke and take it, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Martin cried, and Jon looked away sheepishly, but said nothing. “I got it before all of this.” He gestured around them, to the maelstrom of terror outside the walls. “I had a whole little plan, nothing special, but… and then…”

“I see.”

“Every time we entered a new domain and you went off to do a statement and I waited… I would take out the ring and just look at it,” Martin continued. “I told myself each time that there was no guarantee of safety, not even for you, and that I might as well ask you while I still had the chance. But then you came back, and I put the ring in my pocket and insisted there would be another, better time. And now… I don’t think there’s going to be any better time than this. I hoped that if – _when_ – we fix things, then I could propose, but I don’t want to wait that long.”

Jon smiled up at Martin, fresh tears glimmering in his eyes. 

“I love you, Martin. I love you so much. And I can’t wait to be your husband. The state of things being as they are, maybe such titles don’t matter, but it matters to _me_. And… I’m grateful. I love you.”

They fell into another embrace, and Martin teased, “Who knew this is what it would take to get you talking about your feelings.”

“Are you complaining?” Jon asked with a wry smile.

“Not at all.”

“Good. Because I want to say it again: I love you.”

“I love you too. _God_ , I… Yeah. I love you.”

With a giggle, Jon commented, “I suppose we should go find out what Annabelle and Mikaele have planned for us?”

Martin sighed, but he still couldn’t stop smiling. “I suppose so.” He paused. “Wait; wasn’t Salesa a captain of a ship? Doesn’t that mean he can perform marriages?”

“Talk about a quick engagement,” Jon joked. “I’m not sure it applies if his ship is destroyed, though.”

“Can we still ask?”

Jon leaned up and brushed his lips against Martin’s, grinning as he did so. “Of course, my love.”

Hand in hand, the fiancés headed out of the room, ready to face whatever came next, so long as they were together.

*

Martin wanted to stay longer in Mikaele’s oasis from the apocalypse. _Of course_ he wanted to stay longer. Who wouldn’t?

It wasn’t as if he’d forgotten about their quest or set aside the knowledge that he and Jon were the only ones that could set this whole thing right for the sake of a warm bed, as tempting as that might have been. But Martin craved to rest for a few more days – actual, real days – and enjoy some simple meals, to relish in mortality and humanity, to be at peace for a few moments with Jon at his side. 

But he couldn’t deny that Jon was getting worse. He zoned out in every conversation and practically seemed to doze off at times. When Martin shook him and he didn’t immediately awake, Martin knew that Jon had to leave there. Martin had complained at first, and a bit of him still wished the situation was otherwise, but, for Jon’s safety, he would lead the way out the door. 

Whatever Jon’s connection to the Beholding meant for him in a potential future that wasn’t inhabited by the fears, that didn’t have the Eye staring down from the sky and drinking in all the terror… they could deal with that later. 

For now, Martin and Jon left Mikaele’s house behind and headed back into the wasteland. 

Jon immediately began to perk up the farther they got from the Eye’s blindspot. Martin, meanwhile, didn’t feel any such dramatic change in mood or health, but he could feel the fear soak back into him, as if the air itself was tainted with it. 

As they walked and Jon’s sight returned to him, telling him the right directions, Martin filled him in on their time with Mikaele as he was unable to remember it. Hopefully, Jon couldn’t see how Martin’s hands shook as he thought of how heavily Jon relied on the Beholding; and how heavily it relied on him.

The tale of their quick vacation soon came to a close, but then Jon stopped in his tracks. 

“What is it?”

Jon raised his left hand to examine it. 

“Since when have I been wearing a ring?”

It felt like Martin was kicked in the chest and he couldn’t help but let out a shuddering exhale as he realized that Jon remembered nothing of his proposal either. 

“I… I guess part of me hoped you would remember that,” Martin admitted quietly, then stepped back towards Jon and took his hand in his own. It’s not like it was Jon’s fault that his memory failed him, so he took a deep breath and explained, “I, well, I proposed to you while we were there.”

“You did _what_?”

Martin chuckled at the shock on Jon’s face, the same expression that he’d worn when Martin pulled out the ring the first time. 

“It seemed like the best chance we would have, given the state of the world. We’d gotten cleaned up and were about to head down to talk to Mikaele and then I found the ring box in my dirty clothes and…” He shrugged, hoping he’d said enough that Jon could remember for himself.

Instead, Jon looked down at their clasped hands and said nothing for a long moment. 

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m trying to remember, but…”

“It’s okay. This just means I get to propose to you again,” Martin replied with a comforting smile, but Jon still stared at their hands, tears forming on the surface of his eyes. 

“No, I… I should be able to remember this. I want to remember everything about you.” He met Martin’s gaze as the first tears began to fall. “And that I could forget something so important…”

“You sure you want to remember everything about me?” Martin teased, wiping away Jon’s tears and gently caressing his face. “Even when I ran around the Archives in my pants? Or when I accidentally put ramen in the microwave for thirty minutes instead of three and didn’t notice until it was actively on fire?”

Jon chuckled despite himself and pressed his cheek into Martin’s hand. “Yes, even those bits. Every part of you.”

“Well, I can do my best to help jog your memory,” he suggested. “I’ll tell you what happened, and maybe you’ll remember something? But first-”

Martin knelt down in the muck, holding Jon’s bedecked hand, and looked up at the light radiating off of him. 

“Jonathan Sims, will you marry me?”

Beaming, Jon cried, “Yes, Martin, yes, of course. I love you.”

“I love you too. And I will say that however many times I have to so that you remember.”

“Now, that I could never forget.” 

Martin rose to his feet, then lifted Jon’s hand to his lips and gave a quick kiss to the ring finger, then another, slower kiss to his palm. 

Before either of them could say anything more, the echoing sound of applause came from one of the tombs in the near distance, and Jon and Martin glanced at each other with confused smiles on their faces. 

“Seems the individuals trapped here are alright with our nuptials,” Jon remarked. 

“First they interrupt our jokes, now our proposal; this is just getting out of hand,” Martin joked, and Jon let out a laugh. After a few more moments, Martin sighed. “I suppose we should be going? Got to save the world and all that, so that I can properly marry you.”

“Yes. But first…” Jon wrapped his arms around Martin’s shoulders and kissed him, passing so many memories and hopeful futures between their lips. “ _Now_ we can go.”

“Works for me,” Martin replied, beaming, just before the same applauding tomb-goer offered up an enthusiastic cheer. “Besides, the audience participation is a little much for me.”

Jon laced his fingers through Martin’s and began to lead the way to their next destination. As they walked, he asked, “So, tell me about this ring, and how you proposed the first time. Tell me again, and again, so that there’s no way I’ll forget.”

Martin relayed the story of how he purchased the ring in the village during their brief stay in Scotland, how he held onto it each time Jon gave a statement, and how he haphazardly asked Jon to marry him as they’d gotten cleaned up in the relative safety of that oasis. 

But as Martin spoke, he realized that, despite the horrors around them, his oasis was wherever Jon was. And as long as he was with him, the fears could only do him so much harm. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!! I'm so worried for what Jon's connection to the Beholding means for whatever comes next...
> 
> If you want to find more of my writing, especially drabbles that don't make it to AO3, head over to kellanswritingblog.tumblr.com, or feel free to check out my personal, celsidebottom.tumblr.com <3


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